Today, amidst our current, ever-inflating cost-of-living crisis, the pressure around spending money isn’t just overwhelming, it’s downright suffocating. Not only is there pressure to spend the outrageous amounts required on basic needs, like food, clothing, and shelter, but there’s also an ever more dangerous pressure to keep up with the Joneses. While these pressures are surely rough on our wallets and bank accounts, they’re even more detrimental to our mental health.
For previous generations, like Baby Boomers and us super cool Gen-Xers, financial peer pressure revolved around a perceived need to buy the same (expensive) items or follow the same lifestyle as friends, colleagues, and neighbors (i.e., “keeping up with the Joneses”). For Millennials and Gen-Zers, that pressure severely intensified, thanks to social media’s intimate, 24-7 access to peoples’ private lives and personal exploits. As such, keeping up with the Joneses morphed into FOMO, or fear of missing out, which fuels overspending on social activities and experiences to avoid feeling left out or excluded.
This creates money worries that cast a dark shadow over our lives and affect our overall well-being. The constant financial pressure to have the latest whatever leads to extreme levels of stress that cause mental health issues, like anxiety, depression, sleep issues—even addiction or dependency. These emotional disturbances cause stress in our relationships and negatively affect our work and lives. Furthermore, they perpetuate feelings of inadequacy when we can’t match the perceived lifestyles of others and, in turn, lead to feelings of worthlessness that give birth to a negative self-image.
So, how can you take some control back?
First, consider limiting your social media time and realize that not everything you see online is absolute, nor does what you do or don’t own, or can and can’t do, not define you. Your essence defines you, and I assure you the beauty and excitement to be found and experienced in life are not online; they’re right in front of your face. You just have to unplug for a bit and go outside … explore yourself, explore the world, explore life.
Second, be honest and open with yourself and those closest to you about your financial situation. You’d be surprised at how much understanding and empathy this will foster. Know there is no shame whatsoever in seeking help, especially when it comes to your mental health. In fact, it’s one of the healthiest steps you can ever take for yourself and doing so ignites bravery, courage, perspective, and growth. Next, set a realistic budget for yourself and learn to say no. Remember that true relationships should not be contingent on spending money together or in the same way.
And lastly, take the time to foster some personal awareness of who you are at your core and what you have in your life that makes you feel gratitude. Playing “keep up” and living in FOMO only serve to distract you from remaining present and participating in your own life and getting to know yourself. No two lives are meant to be lived the same, and when you try to match another, you’re missing your own experience. Before you know it, you’ll be back in control of your spending, with a stronger foundation for better mental health.
